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My 2017 resolution

This is my first blog. I even don’t know what blogging actually means but i was told you just write about anything. Since this is a new year I am just going to tell you about my new year resolution.

I have always replicated peoples resolution thinking that having a more tough and serious resolution can make me be more aggressive towards attaining that set objective and also make me be more reasonable. I would quickly post my resolution on my Facebook and twitter pages and my friends would immediately applaud and admire my determination.I know how fake friends can be on Facebook but reading their comments about my resolution made me think that i had really come up with a really good new year resolution but after a few month into the year i realize that my resolution was just a joke and realistically i couldn’t even attain a quarter of it.

This year i have decided to be more realistic and try to make resolutions that are really attainable. I have decided to ditch resolutions like “working towards getting a promotion” because my boss is too mean to realize and appreciate my efforts, “starting my own business” because over the years i have also realized that pooling capital and saving for this is too hard, “falling in love”  have been having this resolution over the years and i have concluded that it is better to let love find you than searching for it. The reasons for my conclusion i will give it to you later in another post.

So you might be thinking which resolution did i make which i consider to be perfect. My resolution is simple it’s “Not Having A Resolution at All”. My friends told me that me having no resolution is stupid since i won’t be having any direction for the year but i think it is the best and perfect way to go. Here i am not limiting my self meaning I can try to do everything right and may be my boss can eventually come to his senses and give me that promotion, I can maybe be able to pool resources to start that business I have always wanted to start and maybe love can eventually find me than me always missing out on it while trying to chase it.

Therefore this year my resolution is not having any resolution at all but doing plenty of things right and maybe through that i will have some achievement this year. I have tried setting goals and i have failed to attain them so I am just going to do things right and wait for the results.

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Embarking on the Soul Searching Road Once More

Looking Ahead there is a long dark stretch before me. I am afraid to take the first step towards that stretch but I can’t stay were I am or else I destroy my self. I once loved it here and envisioned a lot of beautiful things. I was happy,  I was loved at least I thought I was till I was betrayed. Looked for the reason for the betrayal but I couldn’t find it. Out of shame I was dumped by the only person I truly loved. I have tried to rekindle what I loved (my girl friend) but the only voice I hear from her is her voicemail recording.

I am tired of waiting and hurting. So I have gathered myself to embark to the soul searching road once again. However much that road scares me. I always fret when I thing about the vultures I might find along the way, the opportunists & pretenders who might take advantage of my weak fragile heart but all the same I am determined to take my first step towards soul searching again and I am hoping to find that special person. I am making it easier for love to find me by exposing myself

She was called a Mistake

She gave him her heart.                                                                                                                        She believed in his dreams                                                                                                                  She was patient with him                                                                                                                    She slaved for him                                                                                                                                  All because she wanted him to not worry and concentrate on making his life work and get the best from his ambitions.

She forgot to look after herself                                                                                                          All the money she got she put in her boyfriend as his business hadn’t picked up yet.          She believed in him                                                                                                                          Her beauty was fading away because of love                                                                            The love she had for the boy she loved.

Her boyfriends business picked up                                                                                                    She was very happy for him. She rejoiced breathed a sigh of relief and thanked God but she was mistaken. The relief wasn’t for her. Apparently all her struggling and sacrifice was for nothing. The love she felt for her boyfriend was never reciprocated.

He told her he didn’t want her anymore                                                                                          He told her to he couldn’t live a lie anymore that he had tried to love her as she does but he had failed. He had used her. Used her love for him to gain support in his business.

She felt betrayed.                                                                                                                                    She hated love. She blamed the love she had for him for all that had happened.                    She was thrown out of the house to make room for the new girlfriend.                                  All her time and money she put in her boyfriends business was all wasted and gone.        She was called a mistake by her boy friend.

She was called a mistake.                                                                                                                      A mistake that had supported her boyfriend’s business financially                                            A mistake that had believed the boyfriends dream for many years even when the boyfriend had lost hope in the his dreams.                                                                                      A mistake that had loved unconditionally.

She was crashed emotionally, psychologically & physically

Daily Prompt: Calling

via Daily Prompt: Calling

Calling to help others

No one knew that he had a calling to help others. He would give up anything in this world to help others. Helping others was his happiness and was his will to live. He had lost every thing in this world but he pushed on just to help others.

Gerald was a humble guy. He lived a simple lifestyle in a small apartment on a building he owned from the small fortune he had accumulated over the years from his consulting, writing and accounting work. He had no close friends and most of the people they talked to were either acquaintances or workmates.

Weird is what all his neighbors and all the people around him referred to him because the considered him unsociable. He was always quiet busy with his word and in headsets. He would say hello to everyone he met and went straight back to his music. for that they called him weird.

Unfortunately what the people didn’t know that under the guise of listening to music always Gerald was listening to what people were saying not to pry but he purposely was looking for those problems he could help people solve. He was a silent problem solver in peoples lives. What his close associates considered miracles and coincidences were actually the doings of Gerald.

Gerald had lost all his family in a famine that struck his village in a remote village in Uganda, Africa. He was saved by a UN humanitarian organization which took him to the hospital and also helped to get him a sponsor who took care of everything. Gerald later traveled to America and started a life far from his dreadful home and past.

It was after his life was saved that he got this calling to help others. Although people called him weird but he had helped almost all the people around him in ways they couldn’t imagine. He had paid medical bills, tuition fees, paid off mortgages, financed over 50 charities.

The people came to know all the generosity and secret works of Gerald for the people some considered miracles on the news after his death in an accident. Gerald had died in a drowning accident where he had saved 5 school kids from drowning but unfortunately he was hit by a strong tide and hit his head on an underwater rock and drowned.

Gerald had a calling for helping others and he had made a promise to help others till his dying day and he died doing his calling.

Virtual Gal

Your first response to my comment Captured my attention I liked what you said and I fell in love with your mind, slowly by slowly I grew interest in you. Slowly by slowly I started following you. 

I started following you commenting on your every posts. I like what you always said and I started loving our conversations. Slowly by slowly I would be the first to comment on your posts sometimes I would be the only one to comment. 

I didn’t realize but feelings were slowly growing with me. I started picking pleasure in all your posts. Communicating with you slowly became my daily priority. I started being enlighted when I talked to you. 

I realized my attraction to you when you spent days offline. I was unsettled for those days, i thought of calling you but I didn’t have your number, I felt like sending an email but I didn’t have your email either. You had ignited the fire in me. I was restless those days and nights. I thought of the possibility of my comments having offended you and I was ready to apologize. I had fallen in love with you. 

I didn’t have it in my thoughts to ever fall in love with a virtual gal but I was ready to give it a try. I was prepared to ask for a meet immediately you came back online and to tell you how i felt. It was a risk but i knew it needed to be done for me to relieve my soul. 

There you were 4 days after back online. I rehearsed every possible way i could ask you out but I couldn’t find the right words. I was timid. Questions of if it was the right thing to do ran through my head but the fire in me was bigger than the nervousness and the fear I felt. 

So I sent my first message and it was. . . 

“Hi… What happened. ….. I missed you. She responded me in the most lovely way. 

She said…. Hi dear, been busy but am sorry for deserting you this long. …… 

This gave me encouragement and I asked her out. The date went well and am happy as a kitten 

Restrained

What can one do to the fears of this world.

The Fears that intimidate us.

The fears that restrain us.

 

Life is no longer Interesting.

Life is no longer free.

Life is imprisoned by our fears

Fears have restrained our lives.

 

Our lives are on full Alert.

Children can no longer play freely anymore in fear of kidnappers, traffickers, diseases & terrorists. We fear our children’s associations at school.

We even have to watch the foods we eat. No too many sugars, no too many salts, no fast foods, no meat, no eating dinner. Eating is no longer fun and delicious. Delicious is no longer accepted in the society. Foods need to be bitter to be considered appropriate.

Life is no longer fun.

 

There are threats everywhere

Our movements are restrained because of these threats.

The racial attacks, religious attacks, cultural attacks have restrained our associations and movements

Life is no longer fun

 

People and the societal factors around us have restrained our lives. We live in a prison world where we have to be on full alert even from our fellow brothers and sisters. Fear of disease, harm, and others have taken over the world.

Life today in this century is very precautionary. One has to screen everything before he allows it in their lives. This century is doomed.

But am choosing otherwise. I am choosing to see the world otherwise. I am choosing to welcome as many people as I can in my life without screening them. I am choosing to taste the food I like and am choosing to explore various places. I am choosing to face the consequences with a smile because they will be as a result of a free choice. If consequences are dire and I die young, I will die contented knowing that I tried to live life freely than living a boring long precautionary life with NO FUN.

 

ROY

Roy………..

Its the name have been looking for,

the name have been yearning to get,

the name that has made me very happy,

the name i have walked miles and mile for.

Roy…

She finally gave me her name and number.

oh Roy the excitement you have given me.

after all this time of chasing and of trying to prove to you

You have given my your name and number.

Roy….

You made me believe in love at first time.

I used to see it as a childish thing but now I believe.

It didn’t take me even 10 minutes to fall in love with you.

From that day on my love for you has just been growing.

Roy…..

I am going to remember this day forever

The day you told me that you love me

The day you loved me back.

The day you gave me told me your true name “ROY”

The day you gave me your contact.

 

Thank you Roy…..

The Good Friend

Tears flowed from his eyes when she introduced him as the best friend of the couple who has supported the couple through planning, organizing and financing of their wedding. The friend who gave up all to see that their wedding was a success. He had given up all he had both in strength and in finances. The couple wasn’t doing well on finances but he closed the gap by putting in his money. Everyone on the wedding was so amazed with the friendship of Paul towards the couple. All they could whisper to each other was how the couple had found a treasure in Paul but there was a deep secret buried deep that no one knew.

Eric the groom met Lisa the bride in one of the fancy restaurant in town. She was waiting for Paul. Eric approached her table and asked whether he could join her. She said yes but told Eric that she was waiting for someone. Eric immediately told her that your fiance is lucky to have such a beautiful gal like you. She blushed and told him that Paul is not my fiance, we are just friends. Paul suddenly arrived in the restaurant and saw that Lisa was with someone and that they were engaged in a happy relationship, he decided to sit on another table and let them continue talk to each other but he sent Lisa a message and told her that am already here but I like what I see so go on. Lisa and Eric talked for a while and at the end of their conversation they had exchanged their numbers and Eric had asked Lisa on a date but as Eric was leaving Paul quickly came to their table and pretended to have been stuck in traffic. Lisa introduced Paul to Eric they talked for a while and as Eric was leaving Paul whispered in his ear “I hope you have asked her on a date”. It is on those numerous date that Lisa and Eric went to that their love started to materialize and it ended up into a proposal for a wedding. Eric proposed with a beautiful ring with a big diamond on it. Paul had helped Eric to pick the ring and he loaned some huge amounts to Eric to buy the ring.

Eric had asked Paul why he was so supportive to their relationship. He told Eric not to worry that he loved Lisa as a sister and that Lisa had helped her a lot in the past so he was just being generous and returning the favor. But there was secret for Paul’s generosity and help to the couple.

The secret to all Paul’s generosity is the promise he made to Lisa. Paul and Lisa was  were once lovers. Paul was just starting his career and he put in little time in the relationship. Most of the dates and appointments he made with Lisa he wasn’t able to arrive on time or he had to cancel on her but they managed to make it work somehow. They both loved each other. Paul proposed to Lisa and Lisa said Yes. Paul couldn’t wait to marry Lisa so he made simple preparations for their wedding and Lisa started also to organize the wedding. The wedding date was fixed and Lisa’s family was all set to see off their daughter. Paul and Lisa had decided to not see each other for a week till they afriendre legally married.

Two days to the wedding as Paul was from picking up his tux with his brother a trailer rammed into them on the side where Paul’s brother was sitted. Paul didn’t get many injuries but his brother was in an alarming situation. They were taken to the hospital unconscious. Paul woke up the following day but he couldn’t leave his brother. On the day of the wedding it’s when Paul’s brother Mathew passed away. all these Lisa wasn’t aware of them. Paul never showed up to the wedding and Lisa and his family were too embarrassed and ashamed. Lisa vowed never to speak to Paul.

Paul showed up a week after and tried to find and talk to Lisa but Lisa didn’t talk to him for over 2 months. When they finally talked Paul asked for forgiveness and gave a fake excuse that he got scared. He said that he felt that he wasn’t ready for the for all the responsibility of marriage but he was lying. Paul asked for the parents forgiveness which he got. He then went ahead to ask for another chance with her but they postpone the wedding. Lisa refused to give Paul another chance saying that she doesn’t want to live in fear of knowing that the person she loves can disappear any time. Lisa told Paul that the only thing I can do for you is to be friends with you. Paul shed tears because he had lost the only people he had in his life. His brother Mathew who was the only family he had and Lisa the woman he was going to start a family with.

After a while Paul dried up his tears and said ” Lisa i can do that. I am sorry for what I did but I promise am going to dedicate all my life to see to it that you are happy. I am sorry for bring you misery”.

That is how Paul became good friends with Lisa and it’s why Paul can give anything to see to it that Lisa is happy and stays part of his life.

**********************************************************************

“To be continued on request”

Don’t take my Mom

Gazing up to the heavens

He is looking for the gate way to heaven

But all he could see are stars

He shouts to the stars please heavenly beings have you seen my mother up there.

But he couldn’t get an answer

 

Gazing up to the heavens

He shouts to the Angels. I know you are up there because my grand pa told me you are the one who take people to heaven.

He pleads to them please do not take mother to Heaven yet. I still need her

But all he couldn’t get an answer

 

Gazing up to the heavens

He shouted, God please give me back my mother, don’t take her yet

I am only 8 years old, you already took my father. I am still young and I need my mother to take care of me. Grand pa and grand ma are old and weak they also need my mother to take care of them.

But he couldn’t get an answer.

 

Gazing up to the heavens

He started sobbing and called out to his mother.

Mother please I still need you. Can’t you ask for more time from God? Tell Him that I am still young to be left alone

But he couldn’t get an answer.

The Monsters Last Words

bullyingI didn’t have a say in my creation. I never dictated my looks, I never decided to be created ugly, a monster or to be deformed or unpleasant as many refer to me.
I didn’t know I would look like this.
I bet my parents where happy on the news of my mother’s pregnancy and am sure that they cursed that pregnancy at my birth.
I know my parents pretend to love me but they no longer do. That love died at my birth.

 

At school it’s hard.
Children look at me just in detest and loathsomeness
I have never harmed, insulted or done anything wrong to anyone.
I am hated and detested because of my looks
My fellow schoolmates make fun of me
Teacher mutter about me when I pass by them

I can’t go outside and play like other kids
I can’t go to the park because apparently I scare the little children
I can’t socialize with because they fear being friends or helping out a monster
Surprisingly even at church no one wants to seat next to me or talk to me
Even the priest dodge me and never want hold hands with me
I can’t seat in the back because everyone keeps on turning to look at me.
My parents are known everywhere not because they famous movie stars or artists but because they are the parents of the monster.

I think I came to the wrong world
I think I wasn’t meant for this world
Am only 9 years but I am fed up with my life not because I don’t like to live but because people have made my living impossible
Monsters are not welcome to this world so I better leave soon
My parents are miserable because of me
I have no freedom in this world outside my room

It is better I leave this world
I know my parents will be relieved
The people in my town will be relieved
Children at my school and teachers will have nothing to distract them
At church, services will not be interrupted by whispers and mutters about me
It will be better off for everyone
Maybe my parents will have another kid not scared of that kid being afraid of me
But above all
I am going to be happy knowing that no one will have to hate, backbite, regret, mock, detest or make fun of me ever again
I am going to be at peace.